Langport 'to be officially recognized'
After years of persuasion, Glastonbury Festival organizer Michael Eavis - pictured above leaving Guys and Dolls last week - has finally given in and is allowing a 'Langport Field' to be introduced at next year's event.
"I'm just so sorry it's taken me so long to realise how important you all are" said Mr Eavis, as he scraped a hippy off the windscreen of his jeep this morning in the Jazz Field.
"Why honour Langport at all?" our reporter asked as he pushed a Guardian reader into an open sewer.
"Just look at the contribution the town makes" he said, "...Boilertec selling ice-cream scoops outside the portaloos...The Langport Arms serving free Black Forest Gateau at the back of them...and White Lion customers offering to beat up scousers - it's marvellous."
"I agree" said daughter Emily Eavis - as she booked in another homophobic racist rapper for the main stage. "I don't know what we'd do without Langport Tesco running the orgy tent on the Sunday every year."
"Michael - take them away!"
But Mr Eavis said he wasn't keen on all aspects of Langport's contribution. Last year the town's doctor's surgery ran an exercise class infront of the main stage which didn't go too well. The practice manager - above centre - has been asked if she'll do it again on the roof of NatWest on New year's Eve.
