In light of recent events in the national media, Carry On Langport's end-of-summer inbreeding statistics have been kindly supplied by OFSTED.
Othery ghetto - rampant
Aller ghetto - out of control
Fivehead - (the clue's in the name)
Fivehead - (the clue's in the name)
Westonzoyland - moderate - getting worse
Pitney - "not in our village"
Curry Rivel - Chatham Place ghetto sealed off
Somerton - Royal Oak beer garden ghetto sealed off
Coombe - no information available until after the big party on Sunday
Coombe - no information available until after the big party on Sunday
Bridgwater - totally off the scale - no figures available since 1978
...but this year's national winners are, of course, the Isle of Wight.
"Despite losing to the island...it's been a fantastic summer for Team Somerset!" said a Stembridge man, as he and his wife's sister's auntie's brother's dentist's gran's plastic surgeon's cousin jumped on their tractor and headed off for another game of 'pin the DNA on the donkey' at the Rusty Axe.
This report was sponsored by CECOB - the campaign for extra columns on birth certificates.
...but this year's national winners are, of course, the Isle of Wight.
"Despite losing to the island...it's been a fantastic summer for Team Somerset!" said a Stembridge man, as he and his wife's sister's auntie's brother's dentist's gran's plastic surgeon's cousin jumped on their tractor and headed off for another game of 'pin the DNA on the donkey' at the Rusty Axe.
This report was sponsored by CECOB - the campaign for extra columns on birth certificates.
