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Friday 12 August 2016

OLYMPICS LATEST

 

'Medals galore' for Somerset...

Sports commentators say they're "astonished" at how well people from the Langport area are doing in the Olympic Games.

Steve Jewell easily took the silver medal last night when he got from Eli's to Kelways in less than 3 minutes...the 49 year-old has denied he had help from his dog.

"If it hadn't been for the roadworks round church corner and up past the academy I would've got the gold" said the award-winning general builder.


- and there was more than one event at The Rose and Crown last night. In the Snuff Hurdles, mechanic John Light and 'holiday cottager' Mark Bass took the bronze as they leapt around the top room in less than 90 seconds without breathing.


In the Baton Relay at Tesco, there was outrage when one of the Curry Rivel team accidentally passed a Battenberg Cake to his team mate instead of a cucumber. The pair were instantly disqualified.

"Rules are rules" said Andrew, as he gave them both a bag for life as a consolation prize.

"They're from Chatham Place" said an onlooker, "that won't hold the Stella"
At Boilertec, a Garden City man completed the 'get everything in a Haskins removal van and into the property four doors up' race in just 25 minutes.

"We're delighted" said the manageress, "and we may be using him next month"


Carvery Slicing didn't go too well at the Langport Arms though when the Overte Locke staff team (25 of them) from Somerton were caught smuggling in their own knives.

There were also celebrations up at Long Sutton where a Huish Episcopi couple won the 'chase the working class customers out of the Devonshire Arms' hurdles.


Even Huish Leisure Centre has been getting in the spirit of things and dyed the pool green last night.

"We're also having a great time" said a local drug dealer, "I just wish more Russians had come"

The games continue tomorrow and there are high hopes for Langporters in the 'get to Shires before they run out of fuel again' relay and Wagg Drove residents also have their fingers crossed for the mobile home and static caravan drag racing at 2 o'clock.

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