...as Frank Spencer coordinates local roadworks...
Traffic mayhem across Langport has spread to Huish Episcopi this week as roadworks spring up outside St Mary's Church.
The Hanging Chapel [Freemasons' Lodge] kipper-explosion closure last month combined with the roadworks traffic lights between the Eastover turning and the old White Lion mean there have been queues for days backing right down North Street and Bow Street.
...and there are queues too the other way under the railway bridge and up towards Shires Garage...where business was so slow even the pumps stopped ticking over an extra penny when you put the nozzle down.
Now there are even more jams as 'something else' is dug up alongside St Mary's...and just when you thought things couldn't get even worse...Frank Spencer turned up for his shift this afternoon near Huish church.
Within minutes those roadworks were completely blocked as Mr Spencer moved his dumper truck in to the only available traffic lane to fill up his load.
It meant vehicles leaving the Muchelney turning could go neither left nor right for several minutes and queues developed down Muchelney Straight, out on to church corner and in both directions towards Eli's and Huish Academy.
(...if you hadn't noticed...Carry On Langport is competing in the 'most local places mentioned in a single news story' contest this evening....how am I doing?)
"It's a disgrace" said Reverend Jess Pitman, pictured, who'd been trying to reverse a van load of Gin into the Vicarage since 10 o'clock this morning.
"It's for the church Fete this weekend! Nothing to do with me!" she screamed, as 8 bottles of Tesco Everyday Value Tonic Water slipped out of her cassock.
Amid all the chaos somebody in the queue at the Muchelney turning noticed how even the old county council road sign opposite was malfunctioning and had completely swung the other way...
"oh don't worry about that" said the Editor of Levelling Langport Magazine, "people down that way have been swinging both ways for years."
The situation got so bad, Huish Parish Council Leader Dame Shirley Nicholas called a meeting of the emergency Cobra Committee just an hour ago while Langport Town Council says it'll be turning on the Bat Signal later from the roof of NatWest Bank.
Minutes ago, people stuck in traffic on Post Office corner were seen playing tennis across the central reservation...while others urinated up Priest Lane...no change there then.
Police say Mr Spencer, who once worked on the gas and electricity connections at The Kelways Inn, has been asked never to coordinate roadworks around Langport and Huish again.
There are no further details at present.
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Carry On Langport is now regularly getting as many as 3000 views per week. For a small agreed fee - a picture of your works van, shop front, business card or products can appear here, at the bottom of stories, on a regular basis. Tailored to your needs...get in touch.
