Carry On Langport!: Don't panic!

It's not Japanese knotweed...

Fears that the dreaded invasive species 'Japanese Knotweed' had arrived on the banks of the River Parrett have been put to rest by award-winning local landscape gardener Paul Brunsdon

This plant (above) has been spotted in several places where it's taken hold among the stingers between Cocklemoor and Black Bridge in recent weeks but horiculturist Mr Brunsdon, based at High Ham, has told Carry On Langport it is, in fact, Himalayan Balsam.

"It's also an invasive weed but not nearly as notorious as the Japanese variety [pictured below]" he said.

But Mr Brunsdon didn't have such reassuring news about other local 'horticultural finds' in recent days.

"I'm afraid this is definitely a triffid found growing in a garden in Huish Episcopi" he said, "known by the latin name of 'parish councillus clerkus ferocious' "

"However..." he added "...I have no idea what this is...."

"...found growing behind the Hollyhocks at Huish Vicarage last week"

A Church of England spokesman said anybody who knows what it is should leave their mobile number with a wad of cash and a stamped addressed jiffy bag in the font on Sunday morning.

There are no further details.

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At The Kelways Inn this weekend...