VIEWS SO FAR:

Carry On Langport's Archives

Saturday, 22 April 2023

TOMORROW!

 

Government defines 'emergency':

As the Home Office prepares to test the new mobile phone emergency alert system tomorrow [Sunday] Carry On Langport can now publish further details about what exactly it'll be used for.

The official list of what warrants 'an emergency' was sent to us last night and includes potential regional threats too because the technology means mobile phones in certain areas can be singled out.

Let's take a look:

Missile strike or bomb threat by foreign or domestic enemy.

Tsunami

Leak at nuclear power station.

Chubbys cleaning the friers out

Earthquake

Eli's pressure washing the men's urinals

Asteroid or comet threat

Langport traffic held up and blocked end to end on bin day by woman dropping book and saucepan off at charity shop on Cheapside

Mass shooting

Solar Flares

Riot

Freemasons parking around the Hanging Chapel

and Langport Tesco going 3 days without putting prices up.

 


 

That's all according to the fax we received from the Home Office yesterday.

So just a reminder folks, the mobile phone alert system will make your phone 'squeal' at you at 3pm tomorrow. No idea if it'll still work if you switch it off.

Let's see what happens eh.

Tally ho and advance Britannia!

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Also on Facebook & Instagram

😊