Your Correspondence:
Once again we present a selection of e-mails, Facebook messages and letters from the readers of Carry On Langport.
Please note any threatening or abusive correspondence will not be published.
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To the twat who writes the Langport Blog,
Say that again about me leaving used scratchcards all over the floor in the town garden every week instead of using the 10-metre-away litter bin and I'll break your legs.
Name & address provided.
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Dear Sir or Madam,
I am delighted to say that while waiting for the traffic lights to change up near Huish Church one day last week that my son went through puberty.
Many thanks to the Highways Agency, what a wonderful service!
Marlene Boyce.
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To Carry On Langport,
I am sorry to hear the news that Little Van Rouge, which has been serving good food and drink for so long down in the back car park near Cocklemoor, is throwing in the towel. On Facebook she's claiming one reason being how difficult local authorites made it for her down there despite being fully legal with a hefty yearly plot fee.
I didn't have to look far online to discover that one of her direct competitor cafes down near the river bridge has a director who sits on the town council.
He, of course, will have left the council chamber when any LIttle Van Rouge matters were being discussed.
You do indeed have a fascinating town and I will be sure to holiday here again soon.
Regards,
Hercule Poirot
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Dear Sir,
How wonderful to hear that what we believe will be 'an old fashioned' bakery is moving in to the old Sherpherd's bakery premises in the town centre precinct.
We're hoping for full fat pasties, overflowing baguettes, sausage rolls, meat pies and the highest calorie cream cakes and pasties you can imagine - and not a crumb of sourdough bread in sight!
Bring it on!
Yours very happily,
The working classes of Langport, Huish Episcopi and the surrounding towns and villages.
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To the Carry On bloke,
Over 3 months have passed since the coronation of King Charles III and Langporters will have noticed that my huge red, white and blue erection has finally come this week. Sorry - come down this week [pictured]
The flag, I hope, went a little way towards making up for the piss poor efforts made on our public buildings and streets back in June despite marvellous town council organised displays in our neighbouring communities.
Victor Meldrew, Cheapside.
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Dear Langport Blogger,
My husband and I were very sad to here that the Little Van Rouge camper van coffee, tea & burger bar will no longer be serving on the back car park at Cocklemoor.
We think her mistake was to overlook the gentrification of the town. Now if she'd sold sourdough bread I'm sure the local 'glitterati' she claims made her life difficult would have changed their tune.
Never mind and we will continue to support her at the many other local venues she attends which quite rightly welcome her with open arms.
Many thanks and carry on writing!
Meg Mortimer, Crosskeys Motel, Lydford.
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To whom it may concern,
After hearing the news that yet another market is starting up in our town next month, my husband and I proceeded to have a big row in the car about how many markets Langport now has, when they are, why at one of them there are sometimes only 3 stalls and why one regular stallholder appears to have royally pissed off all the rest.
Unfortunately our argument went on and on all the way to Taunton where, in an attempt to resolve our differences, we ended up buying this at Waterstones:
What a find! Unfortunately, we read it cover to cover and are none the wiser.
Next week we're back at Waterstones when we'll be looking for 'Why can't they just merge them all for christ's sake???'.
Anyone read it yet?
Yours,
Name & address provided.
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Thanks for all the contributions and carry on reading!
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