A selection of e-mails and messages to the Editor
Whether it's about the 'winter festival lights' [yawn], the new bakery or Langport Tesco....you've been busy typing away again this month! Let's take a look:
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Dear Sir,
My wife and I paid a visit to the new bakery 'The Somerset Bakehouse' last week and may I say that we were delighted with what we found.........and so many staff! For a moment we thought we were in Overt Locke in Somerton.
I said to my wife, just after she'd got off her hands and knees to read your prices, "we'll come here again my dear!"
Many thanks.
Bernard Bresslaw.
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Dear Carry On Langport,
Can I congratulate reception at the surgery in Langport for once again not giving in to emotional pleas from locals to "see a doctor" when they walk in off the street in a panic about something.
Last week I fell out of an Easyjet over the town and came down on to All Saints Church. With a flag mast rammed three quarters of the way up my arse I managed to scrabble over rubble down Priest Lane, headbut the automatic door control at the entrance, fall head first in to the waiting room aquarium partially drowning myself but was still told "we have nothing available" by the lady behind the glass window.
I later realised that it was only because I wasn't on fire that she wouldn't phone through to one of the GPs to come and look at me, like they used to not many years ago.
Next time I'll be sure to douse myself with petrol.
Hattie Jaques.
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To the Editor,
My girlfriend and I are just about to have our wedding evening party invites printed and there are a handful of people we really don't want to come but feel we have to ask to avoid any fall-outs.
We thought perhaps that if we made the venue and date and time so small that they couldn't see it that perhaps they might misread the invites and not turn up.
Do you by any chance know what font the Somerset Bakehouse is using for its price tags in its glass cabinets?
Many thanks.
Kenneth Connor.
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Dear Blogger,
I am so thankful that Langport Town Council is again calling the town's soon-to-appear illuminations 'Winter Festival Lights'.
Thank god they didn't call them 'Christmas Lights' or anything outrageous like that.
Oh! The relief is palpable!
Yours,
Terry Scott.
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Dear Carry On Langport,
A number of people have been asking me where my husband's got to and I thought I'd better put the record straight.
We were shopping in Langport Tesco one day last week when out of the blue he was discontinued.
I complained at customer service only to be told that he'd be back in a fortnight's time but with a different brand name and three times the price.
That's all I can tell you.
Kind regards,
June Whitfield.
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Dear Madam,
For what must now be a third, fourth or even fifth year I notice Langport Town Council continues to have an aversion to using the word 'Christmas' when it publishes anything about events in December.
Some time ago, when we all took our citizenship tests there were several references to the annual christian celebration of Christmas and we were all looking forward to a jolly good knees up. But in Langport we see references to 'a winter festival' instead.
We don't remember seeing anything about that in our 'Life in the UK' citizenship studies.
How disappointing, I mean can you imagine going down the Cardamom and being served egg and chips? Or not being offered chili sauce at Chubbies?
Signed: Several Confused Foreign Nationals, Langport.
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Dear Carry On,
Congratulations to all the volunteers and others who have helped get the ballroom upstairs in the town hall back in to shape.
The pictures look great and all your hard work has certainly paid off.
Don't suppose we can get one more volunteer can we? To go and climb up on the town hall roof and slide that slate back over the hole that's been up there for nearly 8 years now? Letting water in every time it rains?
Just a thought!
Name & address Provided.
