Terror on Moors
Thorney, near Langport, had to be evacuated this morning after a giant cow, pictured, walked through the village munching on thatched roofs. Hundreds of people have fled and dozens are missing. Refugee centres have been set up in nearby Muchelney where survivors have been describing their ordeal.
"We think it escaped from the experimentation section at Romford Meats last night" said one man who'd spent the night hiding in a chicken shed near Kingsbury.
A woman told reporters "My lodger went out to take photos of it. I warned him not to. Suddenly it took a massive shit and we haven't been able to pull him out. He's still there now. It's horrific."
"My Dad tried to milk it!" said a young boy, "That's him over there on the stretcher, gagging."
Romford Meats has denied the animal came from its premises. A spokesman said "It's nothing to do with us. We only experiment on Poles."
Even the Temperley family were affected when the cow got to Burrow Hill this lunchtime. They packed their car (above) and fled as the animal started munching on their orchards. Alice only had time to rescue 38 of her dresses and Matilda was trampled on as she tried to take more 'award winning' photos for her new book 'He's in Cider'.
The RAF has been called in to deal with the giant cow after a Langport vet said he didn't have enough ketamine to put it to sleep. "It's all in Chard" he said. There are no further details.
