A brief guide...
Twenty years ago it was a common sight to see people hitch-hiking between towns, near air and ferry ports, railway stations and motorways. Podimore Roundabout had its fair share as did lay-bys on the A303. Their disappearance is largely blamed on Margaret Thatcher. In the 1980s she banned straight-jackets and introduced 'care in the community'.
From that day on, the media terrorized us all into thinking that anyone thumbing a lift was a madman from Bridgwater and that any driver who stopped was a psycho from Chard. So we all stopped hitching and stopped stopping for them.
However, the Glastonbury Festival is upon us - the gates open on Wednesday - and for a brief period only we can turn the clock back without fear as hitch-hiking hippies pop up everywhere.
Here's a brief Carry On Langport guide on what to do if you pick one up:
- Wind down the windows just before you stop - or else they will stink the car out. Even the ones on their way to Pilton already smell pretty fruity.
- Prepare yourself to be bored to tears. The hippy will go into 'lecture mode' and tell you that nuclear power stations should all be switched off and that we should all live on candles.
- Double check the hippy isn't actually an asylum seeker. If so, turn the car around and drop him or her off at the chippy in Bow Street or the back door of any local meat factory.
- and when you drop off your hippy, check for any dreadlocks that may have fallen into the footwell during the journey. Minus even one dreadlock, hippies are known to suffer anxiety attacks and delusions - they often even start talking about earning a living, washing their hair and reading The Guardian.
Finally, please remember the old RSPCA slogan: "a hippy is for life...not just for Glastonbury"
This hitchhiker was seen trying to get back to Bridgwater last night.
