A selection of letters (mainly e-mails) to the Editor.
We strive to publish all correspondence with Carry On Langport but will refuse to print anything abusive or threatening.
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Dear Editor,
My colleagues and I have had a sweepstake on when Boilertec will start repainting their windows again. Why did the work stop? Was it some barmy EU legislation that bans that colour or do they just have an arsey landlord?
Unless of course the town council owns that shop front...I mean take a look at the town clock.
Yours faithfully,
The manager and all the staff at NatWest, Langport.
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Dear Sir,
In our bank's second letter to you this week, could I just apologise to the people of Langport and other customers about the wording on our recent publicity which talked about a "change" in our opening hours in your town this summer.
It was very careless of our typist to phrase it like that. What in fact we meant to say was that we would be reducing our opening hours.
The poorer service, during the week, will go from 10am to 3pm from July 25th.
As reported in a recent edition of Levelling Langport magazine...this, of course, means that fewer and fewer people - especially workers - will be able to get to the bank before or after work....and this will eventually lead us to have a good excuse to completely close the branch altogether.
Many thanks for giving us the opportunity to get that straight.
Best wishes,
NatWest head office, London
PS - nobody's put anything on our roof at Langport recently. Something random usually appears up there every 7-8 years or so...any offers?
PS - nobody's put anything on our roof at Langport recently. Something random usually appears up there every 7-8 years or so...any offers?
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To whom it may concern,
Could I just thank Carry On Langport readers for the hundreds of letters of support I have received since I was arrested in the river at Cocklemoor last week for attempting to swim to Huish Episcopi without a passport.
Since the incident, I have been allowed back to work at Burrow Hill Cider Farm provided I wear an electronic tag on my ankle. It's marvellous, after a few minutes of tampering, I can now make it zap Julian Temperley whenever he starts talking about the EU referendum.
You may also be interested to know that next month I'll be swimming to Thorney for the nudist festival.
Thanks again,
Name and address supplied.
PS - Anyone seen my undies? I think I left them somewhere on Cocklemoor just before I was arrested...but can't remember where.
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To the Langport Blogger,
Just to give you an update, we are still trying to track down the white van driver who shouted "get out of the f*!?**g road" as we marched through Bow Street last Saturday.
Several drivers were temporarily held up by our decades-old fundraising procession and they sat gracefully in their vehicles until we passed (or passed out ha ha). How unfortunate that this man couldn't do the same.
There ya go, you can't please all the people all of the time.
Best wishes,
Langport and District Friendly Society.
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Dear Sir or Madam,
We are most excited about the prospect of having a pub open up opposite us. We've watched several tradesmen coming and going in recent weeks and it's been great to have the floodlights switched on outside over recent nights...it means we can see what we're doing! Can't wait for the full opening!
Yours faithfully,
The Squatters in the boarded-up property at the bottom of Priest Lane.
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Dear Sir,
I recently found this x-ray pinned to Langport's town notice board on the wall at the entrance to the car park. Does anybody know who it belongs to?
I think it may be a Curry Rivel Church bellringer but I'm not sure.
Please get in touch if it's yours.
Many thanks,
Langport Town Clerk.
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