It's the Lowland Games...
Non-Somerset folk, townies and people with second homes in the county are packing their cars and fleeing this weekend as young farmers, mud-lovers and hillbillies descend on fields at Thorney near Langport for the Lowland Games.
It's comedy night tonight (Fri), then the big night out is tomorrow when Doctor and The Medics are top of the bill in the dance tent.
"Good choice" said a young farmer from Martock, "we'll need a doctor towards half ten when the annual fight breaks out on the grass"
Indeed, under 25s still learning how to drink often beat the crap out of each other as they fall out over who was the last one to sleep with Dirty Gertie from Number 30.
"As long as they do it out on the grass and don't involve us" said a spokesman from the security team on the phone from his full-time job at Somerton Play Group.
But the main event is Sunday with several much-loved competitions including wife-carrying, tug o'war and mud wrestling.
"Unfortunately we won't be allowing Russian breeds to compete in the dog racing this year until the drug abuse issue is cleared up" said one of the organisers.
"...and due to the recent EU referendum result...European animals can only take part in the ferret racing if they bring photocopies of passports, birth certificates and proof of how many Germans they bit during the Second World War"
Carry On Langport is delighted to announce that South Somerset District Council's two health and safety officers are staying at a B&B in nearby Muchelney where they'll be bound and gagged until Monday morning.
"Sounds interesting...where's that then?" said a local potter.
"Sounds interesting...where's that then?" said a local potter.
For full details of the weekend's events at Thorney, click on the link below:
Please play responsibly.
