EARLY 'HUMAN' DISCOVERED

Man's earliest evolutionary ancestor lived under flagstones at Eli's

A team of British scientists say a microscopic fossil dug up from underneath the bar at The Rose and Crown in Huish Episcopi is humanity's earliest known ancestor. 

Saccorhytus Coronarius is in the international news today. Known as The Common Pisshead, it was just a millimetre across and lived 540 million years ago.

Described as "a wrinkled old sack", it's believed it wriggled around in the sand and used its large mouth for both eating and defecating.

"Oh yes that definitely sounds like some of our locals" said the landlady.

- and Mrs Pittard's not wrong, this artist's impression of what the creature looked like certainly bears an uncanny resemblance to an early-doors drinker at the pub.

Any Langport and/or Huish Episcopi residents who think they see a family resemblance should contact Professor Colin Morris at The Universty of Cambridge by e-mailing:  

thatlookslikethemotherinlaw@gmail.com

There are no further details at present.

carryonlangport.blogspot.com 

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EUSTACE & ARTHUR

 Quirky & traditional gifts

at the old Register Office, Bow Street.

E-mail: enquiries@eustaceandarthur.co.uk

TRUMPED!

High Ham builder thwarts Mexican woman's attempt to break into his kitchen

This was the scene in High Ham this weekend when an illegal immigrant turned up in a local man's kitchen just as he began to build a dividing wall inside his new extension.

Paul Brunsdon, who's asked not to be named, says he started laying bricks "frantically" when he heard the woman walking up his garden path singing 'La Bamba' on Saturday morning.

On the run

The Mexican, brandishing a Cactus and a bottle of Tequila and named by police as 45 year-old Julieta Maria Gomez de la Halfway, allegedly spat and hisssed at Mr Brunsdon before running off in the direction of the nearby King's Head.

Word soon spread and within an hour of the 'attack', the builder and landscape gardener received a phone call from The Whitehouse saying "You're hired!"

PRB Landscapes 

If you need to keep foreigners (or people from Somerton) out of your kitchen or need any professional gardening and garden design done, contact Mr Brunsdon's firm by clicking on the link above.

There are no further details.

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THAI MANGO AT LANGPORT

Set lunch - £16 - two people

and all-you-can-eat buffets

Last Wednesday of every month for £18

Click on the link to visit our website:

http://www.thaimango.co.uk/ 

***

 

BOILERTEC & LANGPORT HARDWARE

  

Centre of Langport

Tel: 01458-259451

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Want to clean up your English?

Qualified & experienced native English teacher in the Langport area.

Classes in general English, grammar and Cambridge exams (FCE & CAE)

E-mail: bountybar@hotmail.com

'SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP'

 

Langport-Huish summit "goes well"

Political commentators say this week's high profile summit between Janet Seaton and Dame Shirley Nicholas appears to have gone well. 

The leaders of Langport Town and Huish Episcopi Parish Councils met for coffee on Friday morning.

 They had two Americanos in Arteazen, a bacon roll at The Wharf and used the toilets at The Parrett Cafe - so as not to show any favouritism.

"The last time I had an Americano was on VE Day" chuckled one of the women, winking at our reporter.

"I know!" complained the other, "I had to wait outside in the car at Eli's with a bottle of Vimto and packet of crisps!"

Items up for discussion included the Huish Leader's controversial plan to build a wall across the hanging chapel to stop Langporters getting into Huish illegally - but it's reported the two didn't discuss who'd pay for it.

Speaking to the local press outside the town hall at 9 o'clock yesterday morning, Mrs Seaton said she was "delighted" that Dame Shirley had chosen to visit and that the special relationship between the two communities continued.

Dame Shirley agreed, but looked confused for a moment as she looked at her watch, up at the town clock and back at her watch again. 

Then the mood changed and the two suddenly appeared stoney-faced when the Editor of Levelling Langport magazine asked them if they'd discussed the former St Mary's Church Hall at Huish, sold on E-bay some years ago.

According to eyewitnesses, Mrs Seaton's secret police bundled the man into a van marked 'Romford Meats' and he hasn't been seen since.

Dame Shirley flew back to Huish Episcopi last night, with both sides saying the summit was "a great success".

carryonlangport.blogspot.com 

Lovely property...

 

Pity about the letting agent...

Another delightful property has come up for rent in central Langport this month. But as usual it comes with a health warning.....check out the letting agent's admin' fees.

This one even charges you 90 quid when you move out.

For more details click on the link below:

havetheshirtoffmyback.com 

LEGAL NOTE: Carry On Langport supports efforts in parliament to clamp down on admin' fees imposed by some letting agents.

EDITOR'S NOTE: You have just had £75 removed from your paypal account...that's my admin' fee for writing this.

Thank you for your custom.

Doh! That's another 20 quid - sorry!

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

THAI MANGO AT LANGPORT

Set lunch - £16 - two people

and all-you-can-eat buffets

Last Wednesday of every month for £18

***

Coming soon at

LANGPORT AND HUISH SPORTS AND SOCIAL CLUB

and on Saturday 18th March more live music with

The Painkillers

Midweek Bulletin

Spring is in the air as cow eggs are spotted near Drayton...

Carrier bag charges at Travis Perkins force local bricky to take law into his own hands...

Heaven's Gate apologises after work experience girl carries out prank at the animal sanctuary's cafe.... 

- and rare photographic evidence emerges of a strike at Langport Tesco in the 1890s...

More news as it comes in...

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

I R GROUNDWORKS

"From footings to finish"

All aspects of construction undertaken. No VAT. Based near Langport

Tel 07814-177344 or E-mail:

mrrisipops@gmail.com

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 EUSTACE & ARTHUR

 Quirky & traditional gifts

at the old Register Office, Bow Street.

E-mail: enquiries@eustaceandarthur.co.uk

***

 

BOILERTEC & LANGPORT HARDWARE

  

Centre of Langport

Tel: 01458-259451

Knees-up at Eli's

Halfway House staff hold their 'Christmas do' at Rose & Crown

Police relaxed their night-time curfew on several members of staff from the Halfway House last night, allowing them to celebrate a late Christmas do at Eli's.

It's believed a good time was had by all, with one eyewitness saying the Landlord of the Pitney Pub spent most of the evening explaining to Steve Pittard what a bar was.

The two were also spotted discussing how to make money from out-of-date pork scratchings.

But Mr Pittard rejected complaints from the other pub's staff that the pool table in the top room was "faulty"

Up at the Halfway House meanwhile, there was little reaction from customers last night when it was announced management were out for the evening.

But normal service has now apparently been resumed.

There are further details about what happened at Eli's last night but after a long conversation with our lawyers, well...we just can't afford it.

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

The shop's gone but the mechanic's still going...

Repairs & servicing on mopeds, motorcycles & bicycles.

Also pre-MOTs, servicing & repairs on cars & vans etc. Collection & delivery available.

Tel: 07970-925380

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FLAGSTONE RESTORATION

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Click on the link below to visit our website:

flagstonerestoration.co.uk

On The Comedy Channel this weekend...

A Pinewood Studios classic on what happens when a reality TV show multi-billionaire businessman with no political experience gets into the White House. Saturday 2pm.

Also on television and radio this weekend:

THE ARCHERS - BBC Radio Four, Sunday. Country lanes are blocked in Ambridge as the parish council takes delivery of a 3-ton shipping container to store a bag of tinsel from the village green Christmas tree.

TOP GEAR - BBC1, Saturday. A repeat of the classic episode when Clarkson and his partners in crime reenact a road rage incident at Shepton Beauchamp in Somerset. Viewers may find some parts of this episode disturbing. (No cardigans were hurt during the making of this programme)

RELOCATION, RELOCATION, RELOCATION - Channel 4, Saturday. Kirsty Allsop helps a Bow Street couple install a post office counter inbetween his jelly babies and her Fishermen's Friend.

 HOME AND AWAY - Channel 5, Sunday. Australian police discover several members of the Rose & Crown skittle team asleep on the beach at Botany Bay.

THE BIG BANG THEORY - E4, Saturday. Undercover camera footage in Priest Lane after the Black Swan kicks out.

and...

DESERT ISLAND DRUGS - BBC Radio Four, Saturday. Kirsty Young presents another episode of the long-running show from an undisclosed location in Huish Episcopi.

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Oh dear...

 

Langport Councillors 'losing sleep' over Christmas art work

According to our sources at Langport Town Council (HP, Cranberry, Worcester) it's believed members have been 'fretting' over where exactly to store the 4 withy Christmas deer - pictured above on part of NatWest's roof at the moment.

It's believed one 'solution' put forward was to spend several hundred pounds of taxpayers' money on a second hand shipping container to put the sculptures in.

[Editor's note - while Carry On Langport admits its reports can sometimes be a little 'inter-stellar'...that last part appears to be true]

The idea, though, has allegedly been rejected by leader Janet Seaton.

Quite right too Janet.

- which leads us Langporters to pose a few questions:

• we live in one of the most rural counties in Britain. There are farmers' barns and sheds in all directions. Councillors are supposed to be well connected with their community and the people who voted for them. Are we seriously saying that, between them, they can't find someone who - for a small fee - might store them for the town?

• what about using some of the town's own property? Up on that large flat interior ledge inside the Ridgeway Hall? Or under the clock where they won't get wet and can still be on public show?

•  What did the town council do with these deer every year - the last lot - before they had to be replaced?

•  and where did you store these festive artworks when they were finally taken down in the late 1990s?

You couldn't make this stuff up...

This councillor was seen escaping from the chamber during the 'shipping container' meeting, telling reporters he'd rather go and count HGVs on Post Office Corner.

- and the 'where shall we put the deer' issue has reportedly become so urgent, the town council even turned on the Bat Signal last night...

There are no further details.

carryonlangport.blogspot.com 

Coming soon - live music at

LANGPORT AND HUISH SPORTS AND SOCIAL CLUB

Saturday 18th February - Bad Edukation

Saturday 18th March - The Painkillers

NEW MEMBERS ALWAYS WELCOME

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Set lunch - £16 - two people

and all-you-can-eat buffets

Last wednesday of every month for £18

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ALL'S WELL FARMHOUSE B&B

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Tel: 01458-241465

Pitney Music Festival mix-up

Thousands of Dutch punk rock fans buy tickets for tiny Somerset event...

There are red faces at the offices of a major punk rock festival in The Netherlands this week as it emerges at least five and a half thousand people on the continent have pre-booked tickets for 'Pitfest'...a day long music event on Pitney cricket field this summer.

The English event, back on after a year off in 2016, shares the same name as a major Dutch one - described online as "the coolest metal, punk and hardcore festival in the Netherlands"

Ten thousand rockers and bikers attended last year. The Pitney event usually attracts under 500 people.

The village elders are said to be "in panic" over the mix-up.

"It's the worst thing that's happened since somebody dropped an empty coke can outside the church hall in 1993" said one of them.

This couple say they've had over 400 calls and e-mails this week from 'foreign-sounding' Hells Angels asking them how much a 2-night camping plot is and whether the shop is 'Rottweiler-friendly'

- and the Netherlands PitFest ticket office has also been receiving 'odd enquiries'.

"Somebody rang up asking if we'd be doing Cream Teas" said organizer Hans Jorganson.

Google says it's launched an inquiry into how the internet booking blunder took place.

For more information on the Dutch event click here: http://www.pitfest.nl/

Our news team couldn't find any online information about the Somerset event but we're hoping Pitfest UK will be advertising with us soon.

As we always say at this point...

"There are no further details"

 carryonlangport.blogspot.com

EUSTACE & ARTHUR

 Quirky & traditional gifts

at the old Register Office, Bow Street.

E-mail: enquiries@eustaceandarthur.co.uk

***

BOILERTEC & LANGPORT HARDWARE

Centre of Langport

Tel: 01458-259451

***

I R GROUNDWORKS

"from footings to finish"

All aspects of construction undertaken. No VAT. Based near Langport.

Tel: 07814-177344 or E-mail:

mrrisipops@gmail.com

SPOT THE RELATIVE

...as Carry On Langport takes another stroll down memory lane...

The Langport Amateur Dramatics Society, pictured above in 'Shop at Sly Corner' in the 1960s, used to put on between one and two plays a year from the 1950s until the late 1960s.

 Performances were at the then Huish Episcopi School Hall - known today of course as 'The Academy'. 

Rehearsals were in an attic room above Pocock's Coal Yard on Bow Street and the plays were all directed by Harold Andrews, who for many of us was also a teacher at the comprehensive until the 1980s.

This annual dinner photograph, below, was taken in the early 1960s upstairs in the function room at The Langport Arms. Apologies for the small size of the picture, it should be possible to click on it to get an expanded version. 

Time to play spot the relative...here we go:

 Back row left to right: Harold Andrews, ? , Freda Andrews, Hugh Binder, ? Wheller, Marshall Sturgeon, Mark Carpenter, Kay Pomeroy, Geoff Parr, ? Massey, ? Fell, John Howard, Dave Osmond

Middle: ?, ?, Helen Pike, Beryl Carpenter, Arthur Pomeroy, Doris Binder, Dave Palmer, Godfrey Barnard, Judith Binder, Hazel Fell, Valerie Warner

Bottom: Veronica Wood, Sylvia Rogers, Josie Tilley, Jackie Massey, Maureen Bown, Dennis Bown, Marion Palmer, Gladys Miller, Sue Martin, Michael Bown

The next photograph is the society's production of 'The Crooked Road', performed in the late 1950s (before young actors Dennis and Maureen had walked down the aisle) :

Back row left to right: Molly Everett, Bill Everett, Dennis Bown, Michael Bown, Maureen Cox

Front: Sylvia Rogers, Veronica Wood, Gladys Miller.

- and one more. Not sure what production this was, but like all of then it was performed at Huish [Academy] School hall:

Back row left to right: ? Bennett, Dennis Bown, Judith Binder, Veronica Wood

Front: Jackie Massey, Doris Binder, ?

Didn't they do well?!

Can you imagine any of us having the time to learn lines, make costumes & scenery and put on these productions today? Too busy with online shopping and looking at daft local blogs.

A big round of applause to all the members of the Langport Amateur Dramatics Society, very many of whom are no longer with us.

The originals of these pictures, plus half a dozen more, are available for e-mailing and copying if anybody wants them. Get in touch in the usual way.

carryonlangport.blogspot.com 

Local, friendly, experienced...

 - and back from his holiday in Thailand - 

...get in touch

***

Breathe new life into your flagstone floor across Somerset, Dorset & Devon with

FLAGSTONE RESTORATION

Click on the link to visit our website:

 flagstonerestoration.co.uk

***

The shop's gone but the mechanic's still going...

Repairs & servicing on mopeds, motorcycles & bicycles.

Also pre-MOTs, servicing & repairs on cars & vans etc. Collection & delivery available.

Tel: 07970-925380