STAG NIGHT ARRESTS

 

...as over 30 men from the Langport area 'hit' Dulverton...

Pubs and restaurants were evacuated in Dulverton last night as a stag party rampaged through the town forcing local police to call in reinforcements from nearby Devon.

"When we saw the binder twine holding up the groom's trousers, we quickly realised the group were from the Langport area" said a local constable, "so we sealed off the children's play areas and the public toilets as well"

 It's believed many of the men are Friday early doors regulars at The Rose and Crown in Huish Episcopi....where the children's area was indeed seen abandoned last night.

"Oh yes they were definitely locals from Eli's" said one eyewitness, "they kept checking the 'use by' dates on the pork scratchings"

The Chief Constable at Avon and Somerset Police - pictured - says they arrested 27 people, all of whom are from the Dulverton area - none of those on the stag night were detained (or got caught)

"Result!" said Langport Town Council Leader Janet Seaton, "that's my boys!"

There are no further details.

Are you a Carry On Langport reader and going on a stag/hen night? Let us know before or after the event and we'll run the story.

No fake news here.

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Saturn space probe success...

First 'ground-breaking' photographs arrive of distant planet's surface

NASA says it's "delighted" with the photographs received on Earth this morning from its space probe Cassini which has, for the first time, taken pictures of the surface of the planet Saturn.

"The first picture [top] definitely reveals some sort of bizarre and way-out pond-life community living along what looks like a narrow causeway"said a spokeswoman.

 Launched in 1997, the probe also captured this extraordinary image inside a local cave:

"I realise the quality isn't too good" said the spokeswoman "but we believe it could be three fossilized life forms...frozen in time by Saturn's poisonous gases thousands of years ago"

But NASA's excitement was short-lived when it emerged that at around 4 o'clock this afternoon the Cassini probe crashed into this ancient stucture...

It had been attempting to travel to an area of Saturn's surface astronomers call 'Aller Moor' to photograph what's believed to be foundations for one of the biggest solar farms in the galaxy - but it hit something called the '1350 to Exeter St Davids' and was destroyed.

But all is not lost: another Saturn probe, the House IV, is due to arrive at the planet next week where it'll be taking pictures of a number of boarded up caves across the same area...

 - and it'll be shortly followed by the Priest Lane 69...which it's hoped may uncover more about how the original inhabitants of the planet enjoyed themselves after the pubs closed.

For more on Cassini's exciting discoveries on Saturn, click on the link below.

http://langport.life/

There are no further details.

carryonlangport.blogspot.com 


Hey - there's music up the rec' this Sunday!

Don't miss it. Members free - guests £3

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In the centre of Langport...

BOILERTEC & LANGPORT HARDWARE

Tel: 01458-259451

Tuesday bulletin...

Landlady at Black Swan apologises to 'Upper Bow Street' residents saying she's still got to dry the hubby's boxer shorts out the windows until he replaces the burnt-out tumble drier...

...blackmail at Garden City as the Post Office bins local pillar box...

Langport's annual town assembly gets into full swing at The Wharf this evening...

 - and read all about it! Supply teacher sensation at Huish Academy...

That's it for this evening...more news as it comes in.

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River Rescue

Locals pull out Langport supermarket worker...

This was the scene on the banks of the River Parrett on Thursday as several residents living in the Coombe area dashed to the nearby waterway to rescue a local swimmer.

Andrew Smith, a manager at Langport Tesco and who's asked not to be named, told reporters he was enjoying his regular morning swim to Aller and back from Bow Bridge when he was struck by a small pleasure boat with an outboard motor.

"I don't think Deborah Meaden saw me" said Mr Smith, "she just carried on talking to the BBC news team about 'disabled fishing bays' at Cocklemoor and completely ignored me"

River Police say they're investigating the incident.

 carryonlangport.blogspot.com

I R GROUNDWORKS

"From footings to finish"

All aspects of construction undertaken. No VAT. Based near Langport

Tel 07814-177344 or E-mail:

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***

BBQ every Sunday at Thai Mango, Langport!

Serving between 12.30 & 3pm

Open from midday.

Starts Sunday 30th April 2017

Tel: 01458-252885

***

EUSTACE & ARTHUR

 Quirky & traditional gifts

at the old Register Office, Bow Street.
   
Opening hours Tuesday to Saturday 10am - 5pm

Tel: 01458-252914

Midweek and all's well...

 

 Nothing to see here...

Midweek is here and despite our best efforts - there's nothing much to report across the Shire this evening. Just a few late items of news...

 Riots break out at Pitney at the start of tonight's AGM of the village hall committee - on the agenda: whether crash mats should be installed at events where coleslaw is being served.

Meanwhile, BBC Points West's ratings soared at teatime today when Dragon's Den TV star Deborah Meaden appeared in a tug boat on the River Parrett alongside local councillor Ian McNab to promote "the regeneration of the waterway as a tourist attraction"...

But Mr McNab's boat hit Bow Bridge and Ms Meaden was catapulted overboard into a patch of duckweed. 

"I'm out I'm afraid" she was heard saying as she flew over the side.

 There are reports Councillor McNab's been up on Stuckey's Island Lighthouse for the last hour (pictured) trying to spot her.

and finally...

Sir David Attenborough says despite hours of study, he still has no idea which species this is...spotted 'tuneling' at Langport and Huish Sports and Social Club on Sunday evening...

That's it for now - more news as it comes in.

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Local, reliable, experienced - get in touch

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In the centre of Langport...

BOILERTEC & LANGPORT HARDWARE

Tel: 01458-259451

***

 Flagstone Restoration

Breathing new life into your flagstone floor across Somerset, Dorset & Devon.

Click on the link below to visit our website:

flagstonerestoration.co.uk

Police 'raid' vicarage

...as Easter celebrations get out of control

This was the scene at Huish Vicarage last night minutes before local police - from Wincanton - raided the building following complaints about the noise from several people living nearby.

"It's disgusting" said a Courtfield woman, "they were playing All Things Bright and Beautiful at full volume at 20 to 3"

But church wardens, seen staggering home in the early hours, sprung to the vicar's defence:

"It was a fantastic night!" said one of them, as he rolled the font down Priest Lane to put it on E-bay this morning.

Avon and Somerset Police say they arrested three bellringers, four members of the choir and a grave digger.

"Best night out I've had for years" said PC Brace, "when's the next one?"

Probably next Easter Constable (it's a yearly thing)

There are no further details.

carryonlangport.blogspot.com 

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News just in...

United Airlines drops off Langport boy over Cocklemoor

Details are still coming in...we'll bring you more information as we receive it.

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Need a local sparky?

MJH ELECTRICAL SERVICES

Domestic, Commercial & Industrial

Tel: 07803094054

E-mail: info@mjh-electrical.com

***

I R GROUNDWORKS

"From footings to finish"

All aspects of construction undertaken. No VAT. Based near Langport

Tel 07814-177344 or E-mail:

mrrisipops@gmail.com

New canopy, new pumps, new forecourt....

 

...but no fuel.

A spokesman for the Shire family has confirmed today that certain members of the dynasty are offering to come out of retirement to help the Langport garage which bears their name sort out its fuel delivery rota.

"I've lost count how many times this has happened" said one bemused driver, "bugger the new higher forecourt...just stop running out of fuel on a weekday....nobody else does it" and then he sped off to use Curry Rivel garage.

 

- word soon spread around the area and hours later these two classic cars were seen at a local supermarket discussing the situation.

But not everyone's feeling so negative...

 

The Romanian driver who did this last year said he was "delighted" he could now stop off and ask where the abattoir was without wrecking the place.

It's still not known which member of the Shire family intends to step in and help out this year.

Details are still coming in.

carryonlangport.blogspot.com 

 BBQ every Sunday at Thai Mango, Langport!

Serving between 12.30-3pm

Opens midday.

Starts Sunday 30th April 2017

More details on 01458-252885

 *** 

 Flagstone Restoration

Breathing new life into your flagstone floor across Somerset, Dorset & Devon.

Click on the link below to visit our website:

flagstonerestoration.co.uk

UNITED AIRLINES

Langport man 'dropped off' over Westonzoyland Airstrip

An Eastover man has told the Aviation Authority he has "no complaints" about his treatment onboard an American United Airlines flight between New York and London this week - as it dropped him off over the old Second World War runways at Westonzoyland.

"Marvellous service!" he said, "...and mother's delighted...they kicked her out over the Cerne Abbas Giant"

If you want to be dragged down the aisle and thrown off a plane, click on the link below to make your bookings.

getoffourplane@gmail.com 

That's it for now, there are no further details.

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Local, reliable, experienced - get in touch

***

In the centre of Langport...

BOILERTEC & LANGPORT HARDWARE

Tel: 01458-259451

Black Swan 'raided'

Trading Standards fine for Langport pub

The Trading Standards Office is refusing to confirm or deny reports its inspectors raided Langport's only pub, The Black Swan, yesterday amid allegations the business has been putting viagra in one of its award-winning burgers.

Several men were seen 'walking home funny' along Bow Street last night but locals are playing down the rumours.

"My husband's been walking funny for years" said a Moor Park Road woman.

There are no further details.

 carryonlangport.blogspot.com

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flagstonerestoration.co.uk 

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RECRUITMENT CAMPAIGN

 

Avon and Somerset Fire Brigade unveils new poster

A new poster for the fire brigade's latest recruitment campaign was unveiled yesterday featuring management, staff and customers at The Kelways Inn.

"We're looking for part-timers" said the fire chief at Somerton, "so this lot were perfect"

'Four large jugs used'

It comes amid reports the women in the new poster were involved in a 'dramatic' rescue yesterday when between them - armed with 'large jugs' - they extinguished 4 Eastover residents who had allegedly fallen asleep in a skip outside the back of the pub while drinking flaming Sambucas.

They were rushed to A&E in Yeovil with minor injuries, angering landlady Amy Cooper (pictured) who quickly realised they hadn't paid off their tabs.

Anyone who wants to join the local firebrigade should click on the link below.

http://www.avonfire.gov.uk/recruitment-home 

That's it for now - more local news as it comes in.

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

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