For the increasing number of pupils at Huish Academy now identifying as cats we are pleased to announce some spring term dates for your diaries.
Some of these are subject to change but this is what we've got so far:
Monday 15th May - Worming Day
Pupils will be called in to the first aid room throughout the day to consume a saucer of milk with a worming tablet crumbled up in it. Any attempt to avoid taking the medication and you'll be grabbed by the neck and have it forced down your throats [just like cats do!]
Friday 23rd June - Castration Day
Male cats will be neutered throughout the day in the school kitchens.
Monday 3rd July - Spaying Day
Female cats will be spayed [or neutered] throughout the day in the school kitchens.
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A string of further dates will soon be published including when parents should start making their feline young sleep on a blanket in the utility room, when they'll be deflead and which part of the garden they'll be allowed to shit in.
In other news...
We're getting reports a handful of teachers at the Academy may soon be identifying as Gods and Godesses.
This will clearly mean that all children will gave to obey them at all times and in fact stop with the cat nonsense
To all the children identifying as cats, that's fine. When your parents and grandparents were young they ran around the playground pretending to be Daleks or Clangers or Cowboys - the list is endless.
However, they didn't demand preferential treatment or 'rights' and when they got back in to the classroom the games stopped.
So belt up.
That's your end of week bulletin folks, thanks for the contributions and log in again soon!
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