A selection of recent correspondence to Carry On Langport.
[any abusive or threatening communications will not be published]
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To the Langport Blogger,
Say that again about my business and I'll knock your teeth out.
Norman Fletcher, HM Prison Slade.
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Dear Sir,
Could you ask your readers for any feedback regarding what the name of our new pub should be? Being townies with too much money and room for a pony, we are rather clueless but were thinking we might go for 'The Vicar's Tipple'. What do you think? Any local suggestions would be most welcome.
Many thanks.
Herman & Marlene Boyce, The United Reform Church, Bow Street.
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To the Editor,
Could you apologise on our behalf to the people of Langport for the absolute piss-poor graffiti we have painted on the viaduct across the moor in recent months. Whereas most towns and cities across the UK afflicted by vandals at least have something decent to look at, unfortunately here in Langport we are still struggling with the alphabet.
Thonk yuo.
[Names and addresses provided]
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Dear Blogger,
Could you let your readers know that, as in previous years when resurfacing works take place throughout the town of Langport, we will be moving in before Christmas to dig it all up again for repairs and maintenance.
Many thanks.
British Gas, British Telecom & Wessex Water.
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To whom it may concern,
Just a quick message to say that here at the Old Market House we appreciate the patience of pedestrians as we continue to prepare for our reopening. The blue tarpaulin across the windows won't be there much longer. Once we've got the fruit machines and juke box installed it'll be full steam ahead.
Yours,
J.D Wetherspoon.
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Dear Carry On Langport,
As preparations continue for Yesterday's Farming on fields near Drayton next month, we're still looking for exhibits for our vintage displays. Would anyone mind if we entered the old phone box in the town centre precinct at Langport?
After all, it's not being used for anything else is it?
Regards,
Yesterday's Farming Head Office.
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To the Editor,
What with Langport getting two new pubs this autumn - The United and The New Market House - here down at the end of Bow Street we're feeling quite left out. So, in the spirit of 'if you can't beat em, join em' we too have decided for a relaunch.
Steak nights will be every Thursday between now and Christmas.
All the best,
The Dolphin.
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Dear Carry On,
While getting out of my car outside one of the charity shops on Cheapside last week [to carry in a saucepan] and holding up the whole of Langport in the process, it struck me what a friendly town this is.
All those people mouthing greetings to me as they passed by. How wonderful.
Many thanks.
Penelope Pitstop.
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Dear Langport Blog,
As your new member of parliament, is there anything your readers think I should make a priority in the constituency between now and the next general election?
Like not banging on about a new railway station for the area?
Just a thought!
Yours,
Sarah Ditch Stream River Dyke MP.
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That's it for now folks, many thanks for the contributions and log in again soon!
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