TAKE COVER!
In Langport this morning a teenager fainted at a cafe when he noticed a couple on another table eating bacon.
A young mother in a car far too big for the army let alone her and her young son was heard asking what time Garden City opened because she needed some hanging baskets.
And a woman with a 7-bedroom house and room for a pony was heard telling a shop keeper on Bow Street how she'd moved here from "Sherborne" without pronouncing the Dorset town's 2 letter Rs.
THIS IS A GENERAL TOWNWIDE ALERT:
Take all necessary precautions - bellringers & farmers - you have been warned.
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