Here's What They Didn't Tell Us
Despite torrential downpours at times, the recent open day last weekend up at the site of the Roman remains on the farmland earmarked for housing in Huish Episcopi was a huge success.
Hundreds of people queued across the field and down the pavement on Sunday to see and hear about the finds which included foundations of a 2000 year-old villa and its outbuildings, coins, pottery and a complete skeleton of a horse.
But in the last 48 hours a leaked e-mail from the county archaeologist's office in Taunton has revealed a handful of finds at the site weren't made public.
Challenged about the e-mail, a spokeswoman at County Hall told Carry On Langport it was feared revealing all of what had been dug up might trigger some "local excitement and even public disorder"
"Don't talk bollocks" we said.
😊
Here's the list of what they wouldn't show us:
The skeleton of a complete haddock picked up with chips and curry sauce from Langport Fish Bar on Bow Street in 1983 b.c
Two 'bruised' skeletons of Romans from 'Eastover Villas' who'd been at a fight at The White Lion in 1995 b.c
Hughie Foreacre's Chopper.
and Centaurians Malcolm & Richard's tenancy agreement for an amphitheatre on Cheapside [leaky roof since pre-Anglo Saxon occupation]
A selection of slates [how the Romans used to write and record their history] were also uncovered.
[Found under the horse apparently]
The latin inscriptions translated as:
"Would you support a merger of Langport and Huish Episcopi Parish Councils?", another recorded an outbreak of Herpes "up a local priest's lane" and a third was a menu [including ash and chips] at at a local eatery called 'The Chariot-Side Cafe' [next to SWEB on North Street]
Others ancient manuscripts found among the remains were also translated.
They included:
"Shall we go up to Somerton for a fight tonight?"
"You wouldn't believe how long me and Boudicea waited for our drinks at that cafe down on the river last weekend"
"Anyone know why the Stuckeys have bought that old place opposite the town hall?"
"Shall we paint a St George's flag on the roundabout?"
"If we're world famous for building straight roads, what the hell happened at 7 bends???"
and
"isn't it fucking busy in Langport on bin day?!"
😁
If you've found any Roman remains in your garden, get in touch.
Many thanks to the Somerset County Archaeology Service and to you, the readers, for your contributions!
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Carry On Reading!
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