"Unexpected riot in bagging area"
Reports are coming in of riots, arrests, injuries and shoplifting at Langport Tesco this morning as it dawns on hundreds of people in the area that the supermarket won't actually be open tomorrow.
SHOCK HORROR!
"I was embalming someone in the shed when I heard about the closure, I dropped everything and fled here as soon as I could" said the Undertaker in Bow Street, "I'd be lost without my stuffing."
Environment Agency staff were seen loading their 'bags for life' with Everyday Value Christmas Puddings, "They're for the flood defences at Burrowbridge" said one of them as she paid £9.99 for 200.
Paramedics were called to the bakery aisle where two Curry Rivel women fighting over the last Yule Log had to be seperated with vaseline.
- and this was the scene just after half past nine this morning when a family from Garden City realised there was only one tub of double cream left.
Carry On Langport can't report whether the store is open on Boxing Day, as the editor hasn't been down and looked at the sign yet.
Merry Christmas one and all.
