A warning from the jobsworths at the Department of Political Correctness:
Langport and Huish Episcopi residents are being reminded that until Tuesday morning there's a court injunction on the use of the words 'Easter', 'Easter Egg' and 'Happy Easter'.
"It's in case we offend any of our friends who've come to live here from the European Union" said a spokesman from the Association of Politically Correct Arseholes...as he struggled to write out a list of EU countries which aren't Catholic.
"There are also concerns that we might give Hindus, Muslims, atheists and agnostics nightmares" he added - as he wondered whether cricket, warm beer, 3-pin plugs and fish and chips should also be outlawed.
It comes as supermarkets and Easter Egg producers across Britain actively remove any reference to the religious holiday from their packaging, signing and marketing - in case they cause offence to non-christians.
"It's the price of Easter Eggs that offends me" said a local hippy as he filled up his 'bag for life' with humus at Langport Tesco and rollerbladed back to his hide-out in Wagg Drove.
But is 'Easter' really upsetting people (Christian or not) in this supposedly tolerant country?
I guess it depends on how offensive you find religious festivals. A very good Muslim friend of mine, a Libyan who I used to work with in London, said "Happy Ramadan" to me once. It was horrific. I wet the bed for weeks, fled back to Langport and spent 12 months at The Grange recovering.
I've never been so offended in my life. Months later I saw him again in London. I wished him a "Happy Easter" and he tried to behead me on Piccadilly Circus. I ended up missing the last train back to Yeovil Junction.
I'm no bible basher, but really - Easter Eggs offending people??? Get a grip.
So Happy Easter to one and all, go to Tesco and ask for Easter Eggs and see you on Easter Sunday at a pub somewhere.
