A selection of letters (mainly e-mails) to the Editor.
We strive to publish all correspondence with Carry On Langport but will refuse to print anything abusive or threatening.
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Dear Sir,
I would like to complain in the strongest terms about a recent article entitled 'Hangover Landlord?' in which the landlord's birthday bash at the Halfway House was reported. Your story showed a picture of a man asleep on a toilet and claimed it was said Landlord.
Anyone who knows Mark Phillips knows very well that when he gets absolutely smashed he sleeps in the kitchen sink or in the sandpit in the gardens...and besides...it's Andy who sleeps on that toilet....nobody in our family.
Yours,
Clare Phillips (Landlady)
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Editor,
You're pushing your luck boyo.
Yours,
Grandmaster of Freemasons Lodge, Langport
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Dear Editor,
Please ignore any grumbles and rumbles you hear from Langport Freemasons. We masons' wives are loving your blog and wish you to 'Carry on Writing'!
Yours,
Wife of Grandmaster of Freemasons Lodge, Langport.
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Some weeks ago you rather rudely reported that 'Busy Bodies' were needed to wear bright coloured bibs and point hair-dryers at oncoming traffic in villages around Somerset as part of the speedwatch campaign.
My elderly sister and I have been volunteering to catch speeding drivers in Ash near Martock for several months....and can I point out that we DO NOT use a hair-dryer. Anyone with eyes can see our device is in fact a 1960s vibrator, which we found in the cistern at The Devonshire Arms last summer.
Yours,
Rose E. Cheeks & May B. Grinning.
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Dear Editor,
Lovin the 'Dame Shirley' stuff! Keep'em comin dude!
Yours,
Leader of Huish Episcopi Parish Council, Shirley Nicholas.
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The Editor,
Please could you report that, following The Langport Arms Motel's decision to remove 'Death by Chocolate' from its dessert menu, that we will be taking legal action against the establishment.
Yours,
The Euthanasia Society.
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Carry On Langport bloke,
Mention me again and you'll find that town clock you're so fond of wedged right up your arse mate.
Name and address supplied.
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Dear blogger,
Nobody over here really gets any of the jokes but we like the pictures mate!
Yours,
The Mayor of Chard
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Dear Editor,
We don't even get the pictures.
Yours,
The Mayor of Bridgwater.
