'A guide to snow' presented by Carry On Langport
Following several requests from the under 30s, Carry On Langport is delighted to publish this brief rundown of how to deal with the recent snowfall.
It is especially aimed at 'the snowflake generation' who in this second decade of the 21st century appear to be having increasing difficulty with life on planet Earth.
We hope that this brief guide may help you with your woes.
1. You live In Northern Europe. It's winter time. This is normal.
2. Do not complain about your heating bills and then walk around at home in a t-shirt. You live in Northern Europe. Put a jumper on and then adjust your heating.
3. Do not panic buy at Langport Tesco. The shelves only run out when numpties like you go down there today and put 9 loaves of bread in your trolley.
4. If your windscreen is frozen over in the morning, do not pour hot water over it. Even Neanderthals knew this.
5. Do not tell your boss you are not coming in to work because the forecast isn't good tomorrow. Do what the rest of us do, look out of the window on the morning of your work and decide then.
and finally -
6. E-mail your school and ask why it had to close when the heating worked and three quarters of the staff could get in. Tell them that when you were at school, if there was a snow day and a lack of staff - the school put all the kids in the main hall and held a big games/quiz day. Send a copy of the e-mail to county hall.
There ya go.
If this gets any deeper, see you all for sledging up at Newtown Hill.
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