The BBC says it's decided to cancel 'The Archers'. The long-running radio drama, originally described in the Radio Times as "an everyday story of country folk", first aired back in 1950 and continues on Radio Four today.
But script writers are reportedly 'in crisis'. According to Levelling Langport Magazine, available at all good dentists, they have had to dump so many story lines planned for summer 2016 that they've decided to throw in the towel.
Above: an Archers scriptwriter on the banks of the River Thames earlier today.
"Several ideas for future episodes were already fully written up and recorded" said a BBC source, "they included having the High Street cash point blown out of the wall, a leather-fetish event at a local pub every Wednesday evening, local bar staff being hunted by The Spanish Secret Service after trashing a holiday resort on Mallorca and controversy as 300 nudists head to a local campsite to celebrate their nether regions...but then we realised it had all happened already...in real life...in a place called Langport in Somerset"
"We even had a violent assault planned at a village dance with celebrity guests Elton John and his husband pushing a woman's face into a bowl of coleslaw...but even that had been done" he said,
"...at a place called Pitney."
The last episode of The Archers is expected to be aired later this month.
According to the Radio Times, the finale's storyline will be "highly unique" in the history of radio drama.
It apparently involves pub chain JD Wetherspoon winning a hotel in a game of poker, the vicar selling the village hall and buying a derelict pub with the money, Sunday night orgies in the staff canteen at the local supermarket, a 2nd hand car dealer next to a local pub trying to build a multi-storey carpark in his back garden and a local childrens' charity paying for an entire housing estate's electricity and gas for 9 years.
It apparently involves pub chain JD Wetherspoon winning a hotel in a game of poker, the vicar selling the village hall and buying a derelict pub with the money, Sunday night orgies in the staff canteen at the local supermarket, a 2nd hand car dealer next to a local pub trying to build a multi-storey carpark in his back garden and a local childrens' charity paying for an entire housing estate's electricity and gas for 9 years.
What?! That's absurd!
The Archers. Weekdays on BBC Radio Four at 2 and 7 o'clock.
