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Carry On Langport's Archives

Friday, 30 June 2017

Brace Yourselves...



 This one really takes the biscuit

Members of the press and public are often asked to leave certain parts of council meetings when sensitive and or confidential items are discussed - it's perfectly legal.

This happened a few Tuesday evenings ago when - it's alleged - Langport Town Council chair Janet Seaton and her clerk David Mears proceeded to 'push through' a vote on asking Langport Freemasons if they'd like to buy the Hanging Chapel.

Read that bit again...you didn't imagine it.

Not only did it go through, councillors (some of whom opposed it) were allegedly warned they faced legal action if they spoke to anybody about it outside of the chamber.

Two of the councillors weren't even there - yet the vote still took place. 


 Carry On Langport likes to keep the town council on their toes with the odd pun and jibe. That's what satire is about, Private Eye magazine has been doing it for decades.

But this one really does take the biscuit and there aren't really any jokes that fit the 'crime'

What crime? Voting to sell off a much-loved local Grade I listed national monument with not so much as a word to the general public? - and then allegedly threatening councillors who opposed it?

There is a huge public interest aspect to this story and councillors who have gone public should be applauded. 

What sort of people do we have leading our council if votes like this are going through?


There's so much to say and write about this one that I will leave it for a few days and give readers time to get their jaws up off the floor.

There are lots of further details...but they're being saved for another day.

Many thanks to everyone who contributed to this article.

Watch this space.



Carry On Reading Folks



 ...a quick look at Carry On Langport's readership...

The blog service Carry On Langport uses is supplied for free by Google which regularly updates the Editor's dashboard with figures such as readership and where people are logging on from.

For all you geeks out there, here are the figures for 08.10hrs on Friday 30th June 2017:

Views today: 34
Views yesterday: 280
Views last month: 8,513
Views all-time history: 207,553

More fascinating is how the world wide web tells Google which countries people are reading this in.

In the 'audience' section this morning - as usual - the UK is top of the chart with over 15 hundred people logging on in the last 7 days.


After that though come our readers from overseas - which Google changes day by day.

At present in second place is the USA (65 views), 3rd place is Ireland (26 views) with Spain in 4th place (23 views)...others on the list include people viewing Carry On Langport from internet addresses in Germany, Australia and New Zealand.

Bizarrely (although not this week) countries on this list have sometimes included Ukraine, Israel and Mexico.

All these Google Statistics lead me to one marvellous conlusion:

- that people from Madrid to New York and from Berlin to Sydney know that there's a place called Langport in a place called Somerset where everybody's absolutely loopy.


Brilliant. Come and visit us soon.

Remember that although most of you get your update alerts from Facebook, the Facebook post only publishes one photograph which means the captions and other information won't always make sense. 

The best way to view this blog in its entirety is to go to the full page carryonlangport.blogspot.com or to click on the Facebook link which says 'to view the full post click here'

Thanks for all the support and keep the messages, stories and photos coming in.

Carry On Langport - news you can rely on.

😊




In the centre of Langport...

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Tel: 01458-259451



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Thursday, 29 June 2017

Squatters at Langport Church?


Fawlty Tower

No, no, no...they're paying guests

For some time now, the Churches Conservation Trust - which owns All Saints Church at Langport - has been allowing 'tourists' to spend the night there as part of its fundraising efforts.

The media is calling it 'champing', and for a fee of £39 on a week night or an extra tenner at the weekend, you can sleep inside there til morning.

Camping beds and other facilities are provided and a handful of other now unused churches around the UK are doing the same.


The Langport Church's involvement is largely down to the efforts of local woman and Youth Club Leader Annie Shillabeer - pictured above at the church serving Germans tea and scones up her vestry last weekend.

But there've been reports not all the 'champers' are impressed with their night out at All Saints.

This Long Sutton woman has complaints about the view from the top of the tower:


"I expect to be able to see the sea!" she said, as Ms Shillabeer told her that she could and that it was "over there between Hinkley Point and Cardiff"

 If you know anyone who wants to go and sleep up inside Langport Church for the night, tell them to log on to http://www.champing.co.uk/

- and if you know anybody who wants to just pass out in the graveyard, "walk out of my pub, go straight up Priest Lane and keep going when you get to the top" said the landlord at The Black Swan.

There are no further details.

carryonlangport.blogspot.com 

It's the new trend that's sweeping the country!

CHAMPING!
 

Well done Annie!!!

 http://www.champing.co.uk/

Click on the link above for more details.

***


MARTOCK CLASSIC CAR RALLY - THIS SUNDAY!

Up to 300 classic and vintage vehicles on the roads in and around Martock from 10am then on the rec' til late afternoon.

Live music, bar, food and much more - click on the link below for more details:

http://www.retrofundraising.co.uk/

Don't miss it!

😊


Tuesday, 27 June 2017

From our readers...



A few messages sent in via Carry On Langport's Facebook page in recent days 

(check out the last one)

_________________


Dear blogger,

As well as hearing Huish pool's closing in a few days time (end of June) for work to start on the new roof, my girlfriend and I also hear 'on the grapevine' that a contractor hasn't even been chosen yet and that the start of work on the project could be months away.

So why close it when there are two months of summer left?

Anyone know what's going on?

Many thanks

Name & address supplied.


********************


Dear Editor,

Why's the pool closing in a few days? Some bloke at Eli's said they haven't even got a start date for the work yet.

 I'd swim in the Parrett but that pike took my wife under last summer so it's gotta be a pool for us. 

But where do we go if they close it? Street? Bloody miles away.

Name & address supplied.


********************


Dear Sir or Madam,

Rather pissed off the village pool is closing for the rest of the summer in a few days time. All for the new roof apparently.

- and why the hell is it costing eight hundred grand? I could build a public pool with a roof for half that.

Yours,

Name & address supplied.


********************



Dear Carry On Langport,

My boyfriend and I were walking up Priest Lane on Saturday night when we heard some local gossip about the Hanging Chapel that made him gag on his kebab and me gag on him. 

It's a disgrace and neither of us can quite believe it.

We'll be e-mailing you more details in the coming days...if it's true then we sincerely hope you will post it on your blog.

It's absolutely within the public interest to let as many people know as possible about this one.

The cheeky bleeders....(and I'm not talking about the Freemasons)

Many thanks

Name & address supplied


********************

Click here for more information on Langport's most stunning landmark:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hanging_Chapel 

- and click here for more information on its current 'owners':

Trotters Independent Traders 

 There are no further details...yet.




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Friday, 23 June 2017

Heatwave 'emergency' at Sutton



 ...as parish council repeals 'shirtless' byelaw...

This was the scene on Long Sutton village green earlier this week as local men celebrated the decision by parish councillors to waive rules on going shirtless in pubic.

The move came as temperatures hit 30 degrees on Tuesday, prompting village elders to abandon the byelaw temporarily to 'make life easier' for the working classes.

But not everyone's impressed by the decision with several Surrey families in Sutton putting their second homes on the market.


 - and by Wednesday lunchtime all the blinds had been pulled down in the restaurant at The Devonshire Arms.

"Reminds me of VE Night" said Lady Cox (pictured), "why are the black-out curtains back up?"

There are also unconfirmed reports the 'new approach' to Long Sutton men who only shave on Thursdays has prompted a planning application for a tattoo parlour at Walford's farm.

Charlie Walford - who's asked not to be named - told reporters at Carry On Langport that the rumours were completely untrue.

"No no no" he said, "it's a massage parlour"

There are no further details.




Come and take your shirts off on our award-winnng lawns...

All's Well Farmhouse B&B

Just outside Long Sutton

Tel: 01458-241465 


Thursday, 22 June 2017

Don't panic!



 It's not Japanese knotweed...

Fears that the dreaded invasive species 'Japanese Knotweed' had arrived on the banks of the River Parrett  have been put to rest by award-winning local landscape gardener Paul Brunsdon

This plant (above) has been spotted in several places where it's taken hold among the stingers between Cocklemoor and Black Bridge in recent weeks but horiculturist Mr Brunsdon, based at High Ham, has told Carry On Langport it is, in fact, Himalayan Balsam.

"It's also an invasive weed but not nearly as notorious as the Japanese variety [pictured below]" he said.


 But Mr Brunsdon didn't have such reassuring news about other local 'horticultural finds' in recent days.
 

"I'm afraid this is definitely a triffid found growing in a garden in Huish Episcopi" he said, "known by the latin name of 'parish councillus clerkus ferocious' "

"However..." he added "...I have no idea what this is...."


"...found growing behind the Hollyhocks at Huish Vicarage last week"

A Church of England spokesman said anybody who knows what it is should leave their mobile number with a wad of cash and a stamped addressed jiffy bag in the font on Sunday morning.

There are no further details.

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

At The Kelways Inn this weekend...


We are showing Glastonbury 2017...

On the big screen!

Don't miss it!

***


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(but maybe not this weekend - partying hard at Worthy Farm)

😊



Tuesday, 20 June 2017

Somerset sizzles...



 ...as reports come in of 'heat-related incidents' across the Langport area...

For days now Britain's been baking in some of the highest June temperatures on record with parts of central Somerset hitting 30 degrees.

Carry On Langport's readers have been busy sending in photographs of a number of 'incidents' from the area. Here's a sample of the news so far... 

Lorry driver 'faints at the wheel' as his cab's air con' fails...taking out grade II listed national monument on High Ham road...



 Aller farmer forgets to park in the shade during 'quick visit' to the cider shack at Bere...



Cagney & Lacey's squad car overheats at Eli's...and are offered this 'courtesy car' from Shires Garage...



- and the heat gets to a Newtown man who had 'a few too many ciders' at the Rose & Crown as he celebrated his recent election to Huish Episcopi Parish Council...


That's it for now - more news as it comes in!




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Friendly & reliable service

Somerset based

Click on the link below to visit our website:

 www.gpm-online.co.uk

***


In the centre of Langport...

BOILERTEC & LANGPORT HARDWARE


Tel: 01458-259451



Monday, 19 June 2017

Off to Pilton this week?

 

 Don't forget to send in your pics....

Carry On Langport is always pleased to receive your festival photos from Worthy Farm every year.

Weird, wacky and wonderful is what we're looking for...or just plain and simple - anything'll do...and of course a good helping of locals need to be in the picture too.


Get them to us via this blog's Facebook page or use WhatsApp if you have the number and we'll attempt to publish while you're still there...just to let loved ones back in the real world know you are still on the planet. (ish)


- and as usual at this time of year we'd like to remind drivers taking hitch-hikers home on the A303 of what the old RSPCA car stickers used to say: Remember...a hippy's for life - not just for the weekend.


Be good....and if you can't be good get it on film.

Saturday, 17 June 2017

Queen's birthday honours...



 Somerset 'heroes' recognised

Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor celebrates her official [91st] birthday today. 

The Queen usually joins residents of Portcullis House old people's home at Langport for afternoon leap frog on the second Saturday of the month but has had to cancel so she can troop the colour later today.

As is traditional on the Monarch's birthday - people up and down the country are being awarded MBEs and OBEs to recognise the work they've done in their lives.

The 2017 list includes several names relevant to Carry On Langport's readers and we are delighted to be able to publish this list of worthy recipients:


 Janet Seaton (OBE) - (pictured) for being at Langport Town and Huish Episcopi Parish Council meetings at the same time, half a mile apart

Ian McNab (MBE) - honoured for actually getting on with something that needed to be done down on Cocklemoor rather than waiting 9 months while the town council "talked about it"

Richard England (OBE) - for getting the scythers in at Thorney to cut back the stingers in time for the nudist festival later this summer

Annie Shillabeer & Langport Youth Club (OBEs) - recognised for their marvellous annual flag display throughout the town.

Eastover Residents (MBEs) - all honoured for putting up with the the sports club

The Sports Club (OBEs) - for putting up with Eastover residents


 Mr & Mrs Dandy (MBEs) - (pictured) for giving us all a reason to spend more time in Langport's North Street...and for keeping the light bulb industry going in the back bar

Tesco staff (MBEs) - for having to wear those ridiculous 'costumes' 4 or 5 times a year as part of special offers and promotions

and finally - 

 Langport Freemasons (MBEs) - all members are recognised for services to the inflatable doll and wet kipper industries.


Congratulations to you all.

Happy Birthday M'am


 
For a tiny fee you can advertise your summer events here.

The beauty of blogging is that you can alter your ad' at a moment's notice to include things like last minute changes and special offers etc.

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Tuesday, 13 June 2017

PANIC AT HUISH POOL



Nine armbands missing

Reports are coming in of an incident at Huish Leisure Centre swimming pool on Monday evening involving the three poolside signs which tell people which lane they're swimming in and how fast they should be going.

It's alleged the notices - which read 'Fast' , 'Medium' and 'Leisurely' - were suddenly changed around at a moment's notice and without prior warning.

Several local swimmers already in the water were seen desperately trying to change lane while avoiding other people.

Roger Harwood, Alice Mounter and Greg Bown - all of whom have asked not to be named - were some of those enjoying their evening swim when according to Ms Mounter "panic broke out"


"Greg Bown cut across in front of me waving frantically at the lifeguard" she said, "it was chaos"

"He's always waving at bloody lifeguards" said his brother.

Mr Harwood was then spotted swimming diagonally at speed towards the fast lane where he collided with a Wagg Drove couple having their annual bath...they haven't been seen since.

The injured include Vicar Jess Pitman, last seen in the 'leisurely lane' trying to baptize a bellringer.

 By half past 7, the Edwards family had been brought out of retirement to come and sort it all out - with Andrea and Sharon seen throwing rubber rings to locals.


A spokeswoman at Huish Leisure apologised for the lane-signing mix-up.

"It won't happen again" she said.

- and she's not wrong...the pool closes for the summer at the end of the month for work to start on the new roof.

😠

Great timing.

 carryonlangport.blogspot.com



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Monday, 12 June 2017

Monday bulletin...


Organisers of the Green Scythe Fair at Thorney say they're "delighted" with the mass audience striptease that took place in the dance tent last night....and have apologised for what happened earlier in the day during the OAP scythers' relay race...



In the aftermath of the Westminster election result...Long Sutton Tory party bosses "discuss their members" on the village green...



Langport man (bottom left) celebrates passing driving test on "38th attempt"...



and the landlady at The Kelways Inn says Sunday afternoon social skills classes for the under 16s "are going well"...



That's it for this evening - more news as it comes in.




Local, reliable, experienced

Get in touch!

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 No room for friends and family at yours?

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Just outside Huish Episcopi

Tel: 01458-241465