Here We Go Again!

How wonderful to see the local relaunch of the campaign to get Langport & Somerton on the national rail timetable.

Higher house prices, even more unaffordable rents and more traffic in to the area.....marvellous!

 

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

 

 

😊

 

Your Correspondence:

With another full postbag & inbox, Carry On Langport is pleased to publish a selection of letters, messages & e-mails from its readers in recent weeks.

 

😊

Dear Sir,

In light of recent national news, I can today confirm that HM Government has decided to choose Langport as one of the 5 locations across Britain that will trial the new compulsory Digital ID scheme.

From January 2026 - residents will only be permitted to bring the town to a complete standstill by parking outside the charity shops on Cheapside to unload a saucepan, to stand around looking dazed and bemused on a Friday asking where the market is and to inbreed with people from Aller if they have digital ID on their smart phones.

If the Langport trial is a success then we'll be extending it to Huish Episcopi in an attempt to track down who buggered up the changing room development at the sports & social club.

 Regards

 Rt Hon Sid James MP, Home Secretary 

******

Dear Carry On Langport,

We were all sad to hear that the Hanging Chapel was hit 3 times in one day last week.

Glad to hear there was no visible damage but what on earth is going on?! 3 times in a day? What's wrong with people?

We were wondering if you wanted any old PE crash mats to strap to either side of the archway at both ends to protect the stone work? Might make a difference.

Give us a ring if you're interested.

Cheers. 

T Harris, J Wright & S Brough.  

 

****** 

 

To the Local Blogger,

Would you pass on my thanks to a member of the public I encountered in Langport Tesco recently.

While I was leaving the store with 80 quid's worth of groceries without paying last week, she reminded me I'd forgotten to dab my clubcard for the points at the self-service machines.

That was lucky! How kind of her! Every little helps.

Yours,

[Name & address provided]

 

****** 

 

Dear Carry On Bloke, 

Can I offer my sincere apologies to an elderly lady I grabbed by the hair and started to drag out the door while I was shoplifting at Langport Tesco last week. 

She looked a bit like Ena Sharples on Coronation Street all those years ago and I think I must have confused her hair net with the security netting around the bottles of JD and so I grabbed her as well.

I am so sorry.

Please, if you manage to get in touch with her, would you give her my details and tell her I've got one of her earrings as well.

Thank you.

[Name & address provided] 

 

****** 

 

Dear Sir,

Could you please pass on to your readers that there will be traffic lights outside the town hall in Langport one day next week as new efforts are made to restart the town clock.

On Monday, technicians will be connecting jump leads from the defib machine in the old red telephone box opposite to the clock mechanism up inside the town hall roof.

Let's see if that works. 

 

 

Yours,

Doctor Emmett Brown

 PS - I've been asked to 'jump start' a few other things in Langport & Huish too, I'll see what I can do.

 

😊 

 

That's it for now, thanks for the contributions and carry on reading!

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Rocking The Boat Since 2015

😊 

On The Small Screen This Autumn:

 

Langport TV Unveils 'New Season'

With the nights drawing in and local folk thinking about turning the heating on, our local broadcaster Langport TV has unveiled its new season for the run up to Christmas.

Let's take a look at some of the new series coming back this autumn.

 😊

Call The Carvery Knife

The Saturday night game show returns as contestants have to drive past the Langport Arms, order a carvery, book a room and admire the fishtank while not driving in to the front of the 500 year-old landmark. 

Supermarket Sweep

Scheduled for weekday teatimes, Langport TV says the new series will be filmed at the local supermarket where contestants can even take the light fittings and not be challenged (but don't try to take a bag for life without paying) 

Muchelney Abbey

Based on the award-winning ITV period drama, the Muchelney version involves people with second homes and room for a pony moaning about church bells and mud on the road and being told to f*** off by local peasants.

Waiting For Cod

The popular sitcom returns this week as locals standing outside Pendra's argue over who's next and who's ordered on the phone and who's just turned up.

Episode One "Where the f*** do I stand?" airs this Tuesday at 7pm. 

Doctor When?

The North Street based sci-fi returns tonight as our time travelling friends go back to half past 8 last Monday morning at the surgery, set themselves on fire and STILL don't get an appointment until 2028.  

 Are You Being Perved?

The Sunday night dating game show returns for a new season up Priest Lane.

Relocation Relocation Relocation

The popular weekly quiz show is back as viewers phone in to bet on where Boilertec's signs are gonna turn up next!

and finally:

Closed All Hours

 

 

OK we've done that joke before.

Nuff Said

 

That's your Sunday bulletin folks, thanks for the contributions and carry on reading!

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Trying to put a smile on your face (and not always succeeding) since 2015

 😊

 

May 2027

 

New Council Less Than 2 Years Away?

The move to abolish Langport Town and Huish Episcopi Parish councils and create one new authority for both communities appears to have taken a major step forward.

Somerset Council is now being officially recommended to approve the proposal and it could all be green-lighted by the end of this year.

It could mean elections to the new parish of 'Huish Episcopi & Langport' would be in May 2027.

Between 11 and 13 [approx] seats will be available and individuals from either Langport and Huish can stand.

Here's a social media post from Langport Town Council's Chairman last week:

 

The move is also supported by Huish Episcopi Parish Council leader Julia Gadd.

So now it's down to a pending approval from Somerset Council in Taunton.

Before we finish, some food for thought here....

The new council could, in theory, have any number of combinations of councillors. 

For example two thirds from Huish and a third from Langport (or the other way round), half and half, all from Huish and none from Langport (or the other way round).

The list of possible outcomes is endless and it'll all be up to us, local voters, to decide who gets in.

And more to the point, who's going to stand?

Feel free to go back to the comments section of this post on Carry On Langport's Facebook page and leave your views, observations and questions.

👍 

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Established 2015

😊 

"When you hear the air raid warning......

 

You and your family must take cover immediately"

 

Anyone still got an Anderson Shelter?

With the nationwide emergency alert test just two days away, how about some fun on Sunday?

Calling all pub landlords, landladies, sports clubs, bar staff.....

Last time this happened, not everybody's phones went off at the same time, it was staggered. 

So this time, how about a free drink for the person whose phone goes off first? 

Langport Arms, Sports Club, Halfway House, Old Pound, Drayton Crown, Bowdens Bar, Swan, Eli's - what do you reckon?

Other local businesses have already announced they'll be taking part including at least 9 local drug dealers who are offering a week's supply of valium to customers whose phones go off BEFORE 3 o'clock.

Marvellous!

What a fantastic town! Who'd wanna live anywhere else?! 

That's your Friday bulletin folks.

 

 

Remember CURRY from Spice & Rice in Whatley today [Fri] from 11:30am and tomorrow a day of dance up in the ballroom at the Langport Arms and a mini folk festival at Tricky's Cider in Low Ham from 3pm.

All sounds good!

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Rocking the boat [for the Duchess] since 2015

😊  

 

THOSE ROMAN REMAINS.....

 

Here's What They Didn't Tell Us

Despite torrential downpours at times, the recent open day last weekend up at the site of the Roman remains on the farmland earmarked for housing in Huish Episcopi was a huge success.

Hundreds of people queued across the field and down the pavement on Sunday to see and hear about the finds which included foundations of a 2000 year-old villa and its outbuildings, coins, pottery and a complete skeleton of a horse. 

But in the last 48 hours a leaked e-mail from the county archaeologist's office in Taunton has revealed a handful of finds at the site weren't made public. 

Challenged about the e-mail, a spokeswoman at County Hall told Carry On Langport it was feared revealing all of what had been dug up might trigger some "local excitement and even public disorder"

"Don't talk bollocks" we said.

😊 

Here's the list of what they wouldn't show us:

The skeleton of a complete haddock picked up with chips and curry sauce from Langport Fish Bar on Bow Street in 1983 b.c

Two 'bruised' skeletons of Romans from 'Eastover Villas' who'd been at a fight at The White Lion in 1995 b.c

Hughie Foreacre's Chopper.

and Centaurians Malcolm & Richard's tenancy agreement for an amphitheatre on Cheapside [leaky roof since pre-Anglo Saxon occupation]

A selection of slates [how the Romans used to write and record their history] were also uncovered.

 

[Found under the horse apparently]  

The latin inscriptions translated as:

"Would you support a merger of Langport and Huish Episcopi Parish Councils?",  another recorded an outbreak of Herpes "up a local priest's lane" and a third was a menu [including ash and chips] at at a local eatery called 'The Chariot-Side Cafe' [next to SWEB on North Street]

Others ancient manuscripts found among the remains were also translated.

They included:

"Shall we go up to Somerton for a fight tonight?"

"You wouldn't believe how long me and Boudicea waited for our drinks at that cafe down on the river last weekend"

"Anyone know why the Stuckeys have bought that old place opposite the town hall?"

"Shall we paint a St George's flag on the roundabout?"

"If we're world famous for building straight roads, what the hell happened at 7 bends???" 

and

 "isn't it fucking busy in Langport on bin day?!"

😁 

If you've found any Roman remains in your garden, get in touch.

Many thanks to the Somerset County Archaeology Service and to you, the readers, for your contributions!

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Bringing you accurate local news since 2015

Sssshhhh! Don't tell anyone!

 

1000 clicks a week on this, the main blog page, and 3.4k followers on Facebook.

Not bad, not bad. 

Carry On Reading! 

😊

 

SUNDAY REPORT

A Few Late Items Of News This Weekend:

LANGPORT LIBRARY UNVEILS NEW RANGE

 

 

 

Other publications out tomorrow include Where Not To Park When You're Dropping A Saucepan Off At A Charity Shop, How To Queue at Pendra's, How Langport Town Council Asked Us To Put A Hardstanding There So They Could Get A Cheap Carpark [by Morgan Sindall Construction] and 'Spot The Stall', a new quiz magazine based on the Friday Market.

In Other News

 

 So Who Lived In Huish 2000 Years Ago?

Don't forget, for one day only - today -  there's a chance to see and hear about the Roman remains uncovered on the field earmarked for housing on farmland opposite Kelways Nursery.

The site's open from 10am until 3.30pm.

CLASSIC CAR MEET

 

 

There's a classic car meet at Hurds Hill today from 10am.

It's a BIBIC charity fundraiser and bacon butties and other refreshments are available.

Also a good opportunity to have a look around the extensive gardens up there. 

 FINALLY

Two events for you next Saturday:

At Low Ham

 

 

And At Langport

And there are more fundraising events planned for the autumn including Dance For The Town Clock, Dance For The Library Clock, Dance For The Knackered Old Clock At The Convent, Dance For The Boiler At The Ridgway Hall and Dance For The Langport Arms Porch.

That's your Sunday bulletin folks, thanks for the contributions and carry on reading!

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

'Accurately Reporting Local News Since 2015'

😊

TUESDAY BULLETIN:

 

So were they Langport Romans or Huish ones? 

ROMAN REMAINS OPEN DAY

There's an open day this Sunday at the Roman remains uncovered on land earmarked for new homes on farmland opposite Kelways Nursery. 

It runs from 10am until 3:30pm. 

Before anyone asks, we have absolutely no idea if they're opening the field for parking. It'll have rained somewhat between now and the weekend so that's something we can't answer.

Perhaps walk up or get dropped off? 

Secondly, reports that Kenneth Williams' body has been found there are still unconfirmed.

There are no further details.

😊 

ADVERTISING

A few local events for you on the calendar, both on the same date: 

This one's down near the Church in the field at Low Ham

 

and this one's at the Langport Arms

That's it for this evening folks.

Thanks for the contributions and log in again soon!

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Doing as the Romans do since 2015

😊 

Don't Forget Your Wallet

 

OVERSHOOT!

Avenue residents catapulting themselves over the railway embankment to get around the road closure at the bridge on North Street have found themselves out of pocket this week.

At least 5 people, hoping to get to Tesco, overshot on Wednesday and hit the Vets on Bow Street instead.

They were charged 90 quid just for landing and then a further 50 quid after they walked in to reception and asked where they were.

The human catapult manufacturer - ACME - says it's now adjusted the device, on Shires forecourt, and that users could now rest assured they'd come down somewhere in the old SWEB yard.

There are no further details.

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Bringing you local news since 2015

😊 

 

This morning at the Chapel....

 

In true Carry On Langport style, reports on the current local road upheaval have remained light-hearted, silly and just plain daft. 

 
So how sad to hear about the reaction a young couple, with a baby on board, received when the car they were in suffered an electrical fault and broke down at the entrance to the Hanging Chapel this morning. 

Stuck in the middle of the road with the hazards on, they were shouted at and angrily beeped at for several minutes and only eventually offered help from people living nearby who came out to help and moved some signs to let vehicles get by. 

 
Incidents like these probably take place every day somewhere in England but not nice to see it happening on our patch eh. 

Hey ho there ya go, that's the human race for ya! 

 Everybody's alright now though and a big thumbs up to those nearby residents who came out to help at the Chapel this morning!

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Established 2015 

😊

THURSDAY EVENING BULLETIN:

 

NETWORK RAIL WORKER TAKEN ILL

Nigel [from Yeovil] said after 4 days working up on the railway bridge he could "no longer cope" with what Avenue residents did in their upstairs bathrooms. 

There are no further details.

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Established 2015

😊 

 

WILDLIFE NEWS:

 

A family of snails from The Avenue trying to get to North Moor yesterday has been spotted this morning coming down Station Path. 

Let us know in the comments section of this post on Facebook how the first day of the big Langport road closure affected you.

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Established 2015

😊  

Funny that!

 

Confused.com?

As Langport looks forward to a 4-week road closure followed by 3 weeks of traffic lights to sort out the railway bridge on North Street, we thought you might like to check out this Network Rail timelapse footage of a railway bridge replacement job in Southend-on-Sea 12 years ago.

 

 

It took, wait for it, TWO DAYS.

Funny that!

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Established 2015

 😊

 

Oh Duchess.....

 

 

 

We're all very sad and angry to hear about our lovely local river passenger boat service the Duchess of Cocklemoor being vandalised this week. 

 

Moored down near Black Bridge on Tuesday evening, this was the sight that greeted owners' eyes on the Wednesday. The bilge pump, which runs constantly to drain the deck and hull, had been switched off and so it flooded and partially sank. 

 

 

 

Mud was thrown over and in to parts of the vessel and onboard items thrown in to the water.

 

 It's all now been drained and the Duchess is afloat but a lot of flood damage has been caused to kit and equipment inside. 

 

[with thanks to SV & NH for the photographs]

 

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

 

Established 2015

 

😊 

PitFest 2025

 

Afternoon fun at PitFest yesterday before the evening crowds poured in.

Well done Pitney!

And here's one of the next ones coming up soon:

 

'Secret Somerset Location' is out on the fields near Martock somewhere.

Think we're allowed to say that without breaking the rules!

 😁

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Partying since 2015 

😊 

 

Weekend Headlines

 

What A Carry On!

 

 A few late items of news as we head in to the first weekend of July:

 

LANGPORT ARMS

 

 

As work continues on the roof of one of England's oldest hotels, details have emerged of what workers have uncovered inside the roof space of the centuries-old building.

A handful of artifacts have been found including a carvery from the 1920s [still warm], 2 inflatable dolls labelled 'Richard' and 'Malcolm'  and a Rotarian with a note in her hand asking for a discount on a 3-course meal and still complaining about the coffee.  

The county archaeologist has been informed.

EVERYBODY OUT!

In Langport, Boots the Chemist and the dispensary at the GP surgery have admitted they base their lunch breaks on a Taunton department store.

 

 

Despite many local workers hoping they might pick up their medication during their own lunch breaks, both venues appear to put all staff on the same lunchbreak at the same time, closing their services.

A local NHS spokeswoman angrily rebuked criticism and said if Slocombe, Humphries, Peacock and the entire second floor can go on a lunch break at the same time at Grace Brothers then why shouldn't they? 

And finally:

RAIL REPLACEMENT SERVICE

GWR has revealed more details of how the bridge closure in Langport later this summer will affect rail commuters.

Anyone travelling on the Taunton-London line will have to get off over North Street, get down a ladder and wait at the 'Langport Rural Transport Hub' outside Tesco [a bus shelter, a bin and a street light]

"Or" said a spokesman "they could take the Underground, get on the Stuckey Line at Post Office Corner, change at Courtfield and go to Yeovil Junction"

There are no further details.

👍

That's your Friday bulletin folks.

Thanks for the contributions. 

If you're off to Party By The Parrett or PitFest tomorrow, have a great time and remember: don't use the Hill and the Chapel!

 'Not suitable for diverted traffic'

Who put that sign up 4 weeks early then? 

Cheeky. 

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Sponsored by the Langport & District Inbreeding Society

😊

 

Someone's not happy!

 

CAR PARK PROPOSALS UPDATE

Local man reacts to latest Town Council idea:

40 new spaces 'on the moon'

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Established 2015

 😊

 

Carry On Parking!

 

But Where?

 

 

Down here apparently!

Despite Langport Town Council Chairman Sean Dromgoole saying that, aside from land behind the old Travis Perkins site, several other options are being considered for extra parking for Langport....

[here's the post on Carry On Langport's Facebook page around 3 weeks ago]

...the people who managed to get to the [3 o'clock in the afternoon on a week day] council meeting at the town hall a few weeks ago appear to have come away with the distinct feeling that's where the town council wants it.

With a narrow access route that makes Wagg Drove look like the A303, coming out on a road where there's already a busy supermarket junction and a school and a 'decent walk' from town centre shops and offices - objectors had hoped it may be shelved. 

Doesn't look like it has been though and Mr Dromgoole, if not others on the council, seem to be - according to those who listened in at the recent meeting - "enthusiast".

The main reason for that enthusiasm being Network Rail are about to use a large plot of land there on the moor next to the railway line for a hard standing for their vehicles and heavy plant machinery for when they start work on the railway bridge later this summer.

Having the ground already flattened out and semi-ready would mean far less expense for anyone who wants to come along and build a car park on top. Makes sense.

At this point, we're not even sure who owns that land. Is it part of the North Moor common land? Or is it, as many have said, actually within the boundaries of Huish Episcopi?

Either way it sounds far cheaper than buying a plot of land at, let's say Westover for example. 

If the carpark does go ahead - it's believed the town council hopes it could encourage the [approximately] 80 drivers who work and park in the town centre 5-6 days a week to park there, behind the old Perkins store on the moor, instead.

[quite a walk that - don't forget your brollies] 

Our busy little town certainly needs some more parking or some parking spaces freed up - which some think may well happen if fees were introduced in part[s] of the Cocklemoor car park.

But that idea seems to have gone quiet while this new carpark idea out on the moor is banded about. 

 

In conclusion: 

While the town council should be commended for making great efforts to get it all sorted out, one does get the impression that Langport is about to create a new public carpark in the wrong place simply because it's the cheapest option.

Surely practicalities - very poor access, distance from the town centre for those 'asked' to park there instead and sticking it all right on top of a supermarket junction and near a school - should override expense here.

Lots to chew over and admittedly, this article won't have covered all angles of the issue.

But it's a start....and with town council meetings about it at 3 o'clock in the afternoon on a weekday - well perhaps a Carry On Langport post might mean far more people might get to hear about it eh.

 

 

Feedback, observations, suggestions, corrections and rants all in the comments section please!

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Established 2015

😊 

  

Onward Christian Soldiers!

Ten out of Ten!

Well done to Kingsbury Town Band and the Langport & District Friendly Society who've been playing and marching around our local roads & streets since around 9 o'clock this morning. 

Now all the marchers are in the Arms [5pm] for a well-deserved nosh-up and drink. 

Ten out of ten for keeping the tradition alive! 

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Established about 190 years after the Friendly Society but always flying the flag for Langport & Huish!

😊

 

New Town Car Park?

 

How About Here?

There was a public meeting this week about a proposed new car park somewhere on part of North Moor [next to the railway line behind Tesco]

The idea is a Town Council one aimed at easing overcrowding in the main town centre car parks. 

It's already thrown up several questions. 

Why so far from the town centre and not at Westover [for example] where the cafes, businesses and river is? Would it be free or charged? Where would its access road be?

 

and will I be able to use my Club Card to get a bigger space? 

😁 

and some of the answers were provided at the meeting.

Why there?  

Cheaper. Network Rail will be using the plot marked in the picture as a hard standing for their nearby railway bridge work in August, so the land will have already been partly prepared for a potential public car park to be laid on top. 

It's also Common land. Again, cheaper. Land at Westover, for example, would have to be purchased. 

Where would its access road be?

The only visible way through appears to be the very narrow track down to the moor between Tesco and the former Travis Perkins site.

Widening that track would involve buying land from either one or both of the landowners either side.

[Good luck with that one] 

Lots of opinions already being banded about!

But it's early days. Wherever it goes, it looks like we do need some extra parking in Langport OR would introducing fees at part of the main one cancel out the need for a new one? 

All food for thought. 

Thanks for the messages and contributions so far - keep'em coming! 

and feel free to add your views in the comments section of Carry On Langport's Facebook page...particulary if you went to the meeting at the primary school this week.

That's your Wednesday bulletin folks! 

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Slowly replacing the Western Gazette since 2015

😊

Town Gardener Arrested:

 

Indeceny Charges at Langport.

Langport Town Garden was closed off this afternoon as increasing numbers of visitors dialled 999 to report an 'indecent' display in one of the bushes.

The item [pictured] has appeared in the undergrowth in recent days triggering horror and panic.

Anne Summer's Head Office in Taunton told police "it wasn't one of theirs" while one local man was seen trying to cut it off and take it up Priest Lane.

"I think it's a disgrace" said local woman Molly Sugden, "I only sat on that bench to do my scratch cards....I didn't expect that to come up"

George Brown, who manages the garden for the town council, was arrested but then released on bail this evening after he told police he needed to spend the weekend in London.

The 45 year-old apologised for the alarm the new bloom had caused and said he'd be "taking it up the Palladium" as soon as he arrived in Soho tonight.

There are no further details.

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Established 2015

😂

Was that thunder?

 

AMBER WARNING: 

The Met Office has issued a Langport-wide weather alert with locals showing signs of ever-so-slight madness after the first rain fall this evening since March, there was thunder & lightning too.

Soggy red, white & blue bunting was spotted outside the Langport Arms [nothing in Huish until July 4th] 

More than 5 stallholders have announced they'll turn up for this Friday's market, parents driving the kids to Scouts this week have suddenly agreed not to bugger up Bond's Pool for the first time since 2015 and a bar manager in Drayton [pictured] has raised a Union Jack on the back of his bicycle.

The dirty fascist.

Crazy, let's hope things return to normal ASAP.

Looks like the storm's already passed.

Thank God for that.

That's your Tuesday evening bulletin folks, log in again soon!

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Established 1066

😊

Here We Go!

Time To Party Like It's 1945!

The Langport Arms 80th anniversary VE Day party is a week tomorrow [May 10th] in the downstairs bar & courtyard. 

Wartime music, food & drink.

Dress up in 40s gear if you can find anything.

Even coming just dressed as a blackout curtain counts!

Starts at 3pm!

 

😄

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Established 2015

 😊

Get Him.

 

2 people from Cheapside and 7 people from Bow Street have been arrested after stretching fishing line across the main road outside their houses to catch the noisy bastard on a moped going up and down every 20 minutes all this week. 

"We think they got him though" said a delighted Boss Hogg [pictured] at Portishead police HQ.

There are no further details.

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Established 2015

😊

 

Here's Hoping!

 

Unlike the glorious displays of red, white & blue in Somerton, Martock, Long Sutton and other nearby communities - none of our town councillors (11? 12 of them?) had any interest in hanging even the cheapest bunting across the front of our town hall for either the late Queen's last jubilee or the coronation of King Charles. 

Let's see if we can coax them in to spending less than a tenner of public money on doing something for the 80th anniversary of VE day! 

7 days left! Here's hoping!

carryonlangport.blogspot.com

Established 2015

😊